Developing rapport is very important if you plan on being successful in this industry. Many people hear about rapport and know it’s somehow important, but they don’t really know how to apply it, or just don’t want to take the time. By definition, rapport is “A close and harmonious relationship in which the people or groups concerned understand each other’s feelings or ideas and communicate well.” The key is building relationships with people and getting to know them on a personal level.
Some people are just masters of building rapport. You know those people that talk to everyone and are very aware of both their thoughts and the thoughts of whoever they are talking to. The person that everyone likes, these kinds of people seem to be born with good communication skills. They know how to talk like you talk, think like you think, and act like you act. Some say they are chameleons because they are never the same around everybody, but the people that say this don’t understand rapport. Some people are just naturally good at it, but that doesn’t mean the skill cannot be developed.
So often, we tend not to approach people we do not know. I understand it is not easy to strike up a conversation out of thin air. Additionally, if we know nothing about the person, it is twice as hard to initiate a conversation. Ryan Angelo, a prolific personal development strategist, outlines 5 way to building good rapport with people in his book Alpha Influence. The 5 ways are:
- Method – be relaxed and aware of your surroundings. Make no assumptions about the person or the situation. Be open-minded with the conversation and the flow thereof
- Presence – You are there physically but it is more important to be there mentally as well. Keep good eye contact and make sure you have a good position when speaking to someone. Although we want to be present in the moment we don’t want to come across as overbearing and smothering
- Disturbance – as the conversation flows, create a subject shift. This works extremely well when you are speaking with someone who has a very strong will and you are having a difficult time finding some commonalities. This will allow their brain to shift gears and lower their level of defense and allow you a chance to connect with that person on a different level.
- Connect – This is the position you want. Once you have found common ground; build on it. Then go back into the original conversation, there by alluding to the person’s initial high defense senses
- Foundation – this is where the rapport begins. You are in their world now. Once there, you want to find more areas of commonalities and slowly increase the conversation.
People only join other people that they know, like, and trust. If you want to build a large team of successful leaders, you are going to have to connect with them on a much deeper level and build rapport with everyone you talk to. It could be when you’re prospecting, presenting, or closing…always try to build rapport. People love working with people that they feel are like them. Learn to speak in their tone of voice, match their tempo, and try as hard as you can to get to know them personally and where they are coming from.
There’s nothing worse than dealing with people who have an agenda, you can almost feel it. You can just tell, all you are to them is a sale. They don’t care about what’s really troubling you, or how to help you solve the problem. That’s what this industry is all about, solving the problems of people in need. This industry is for people who love to help others. Obviously, the money and time freedom are nice too.. but if you just go about helping people solve problems, the money will follow. The market will give you what you put into it. It will also give you what you demand of it, nothing more and nothing less. Those are just the laws of nature. Don’t settle with where you are, because you are given whatever you’re comfortable with.
It is also important to know the type of person you are speaking. You should be able to know the type of person they are within a matter of seconds. There are many personality tests available where you can find out your personality type. The results of the test will display your personality type but I highly recommend reviewing the other personality types. This will allow you information on the tendencies of others and show you how to deal with a variety of people. This leads to you ultimately knowing how to win people over and establish meaningful relationships.
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